


The Winds of Change Will Change Your Mind

by Rays



Series: Destiny Verse [7]
Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Gap Filler, M/M, Mild Language, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, brief mention of sucide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-05-08 03:07:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14685174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rays/pseuds/Rays
Summary: The rest of the questers all learn in their own time that Quentin and Eliot seem to be different now.





	1. Alice

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I have been writing off and on for a while now. I'm going to have a chapter for each character finding out about Q and Eliot's relationship. It will jump around time and some might be longer or shorter than others. Not sure how fast it will all come out but all but Margo's will be done. I didn't include Margo because I pretty much see all my stories (minus The New York Chapter) to be all one long story. So for Margo's reaction read Destiny is Bullshit. 
> 
> This first chapter takes place during "Twenty Three" Enjoy!

Alice had always loved being on the water. Her family had sometimes gone sailing, and it had been the one activity they could all stand to do together. Her mother softened in the sea air. All she wanted to do was to lounge in its cool breeze. Her dad was confident and focused as he for once didn’t rely on magic, instead working himself at the sails and steering. She and Charlie would sit on the edge, let their feet dangle and watch the dolphins that would always end up swimming along with them. It was the one place she ever felt like they were an ordinary family. The Muntjac wasn’t her family’s sailboat though, and she couldn’t seem to recapture that feeling staring out the porthole window.

“What are we supposed to do until Josh and Julia get back?” She asked, turning away from the small window and letting those youthful thoughts of sailing and family leave her mind.

“Why, do you have somewhere else to be?” Quentin asked. His back was to her, still seated across from Eliot and Margo. She didn’t answer him, and she saw Eliot hold his hand up and give Quentin a pointed look.

“We’re going to relax,” Eliot said. “Take a load off for a change. We’re on a magical boat.” His legs still sprawled across Margo’s legs, he leaned his head back with a lazy smile. Quentin seemed to accept this and take his advice. The tension in his shoulder relaxed somewhat, and he leaned back in his chair. Margo was filing her nails; she’d been acting like Alice wasn’t even there most of the time. Alice didn’t know why she’d expected anything less.

“I didn't think we’d have time to relax.” She said shortly. She felt out of place. It was how she always felt. She didn’t belong here with them. They were all so comfortable with each other, so at home. She didn’t know what that felt like anymore. She wasn’t even sure if she ever had.

“Have you had the tour?” Eliot asked sitting up, his legs dropping from Margo. “I give a good tour, don’t I Q?” He gave Quentin a suggestive look. With Quentin’s back to her, she couldn’t see his response, but she saw his shoulders shake a bit from quiet laughter.

“You gave an exemplary tour El,” Quentin said in a playful tone. Alice hadn’t seen that side of Quentin in a long time. He was so cold with her lately, though she didn’t blame him. She couldn’t tell if she was glad to see him like this or angry that now that Eliot and Margo were around, he was suddenly so relaxed.

“See Alice,” Eliot said proudly. “Exemplary.”

“Oh my god, we get it,” Margo said throwing her head back. “You give good _tour_ El,” Eliot and Quentin both laughed and Alice pulled her arms around herself. She could tell she was on the outside of a joke and it made her feel cold.

“That’s alright,” She said tightly. “I can look around later myself.” Eliot just shrugged, and Quentin sat forward in his seat a bit.

“I wouldn’t mind another tour.” He said. “It’s been a while since I was here, I’d like a refresher.” Eliot grinned as he stood and held out a hand to Quentin.

“Right this way sir,” He said. Quentin took his hand and then they quickly made their way down a hallway and disappeared into what Alice could only assume was a bedroom. Alice looked back at Margo, who had gone back to filing her nails.

“Are they?” Alice started to ask.

“Fucking like jackrabbits?” Margo finished not even looking up.

“That’s not really how I was going to put it,” Alice mumbled, rolling her eyes. “But yes.” Margo set down her nail file and finally looked at Alice.

“Pretty much,” she said. “They would be doing it a lot more I’m sure if we weren’t on this shitty quest.” Alice looked back to the bedroom the two had disappeared to and waited for feelings of anger and jealousy to spring up in her.

When she knew Poppy had slept with Quentin, she hadn’t felt it then but had assumed that it was because she didn’t care about Poppy. Eliot was different though. Eliot had been one of the reasons, a more significant reason than she let on, that she and Quentin had broken up. Alice felt nothing now though. She wondered if it was because she was really over Quentin, or because she would never really feel anything ever again.

“So do me a favor,” Margo spoke up in that tone that meant she could kill you in your sleep. “Don’t fuck this up for them.” Alice glared over at Margo, ramping up for a fight, but just as she didn’t feel any jealousy toward Eliot, she felt no resentment toward Margo. The thought of arguing with someone else yet again, suddenly left her feeling exhausted.

“Why does everyone think I care about where Quentin sticks his dick anymore,” Alice wearily said as she came over and sat across from Margo. “He can have sex with whoever he wants. I don’t care anymore.” Margo looked at her carefully. Her usually unreadable face was even more enigmatic with her missing eye.

“Just needed to make sure,” Margo said straightening up a little, apparently satisfied that Alice was telling the truth. “They deserve to get as much time as they can.” Alice was surprised by the sincerity in Margo’s voice. She had never seen her as someone who cared that much about her friend's feelings, mainly if it involved Eliot’s love life. Alice had always suspected that Margo was in love with Eliot and that was the base of her sour attitude. If she couldn’t be happy, then she would make sure everyone was as miserable as her. Maybe Alice had been wrong about her as well. She had been wrong about so many things in her life; that this would be another notch in her belt.

“Is it just sex or something more?” Alice asked. If she was going to have to be stuck here until they heard from Josh or Julia, she might as well find out what she could. Margo narrowed her eye at her and brought her arms close around herself. Alice knew this meant she wouldn’t get any answers; Margo was clearing shutting whatever sliver of vulnerability she had accidentally let through.

“I’m not going to answer that,” she said coolly. “That’s not my story to tell. I only told you what I did because I meant what I said. Don’t fuck up what they have.’ Alice laughed bitterly and shook her head.

“Why?” She asked. “Are you worried I’ll try to get some revenge on my ex because he’s seeing the guy he slept with that broke us up?”

“It’s always a possibility,” Margo said shrugging. “Honestly, you’re a little hard to predict.” The way Margo said it, that had almost sounded like a compliment.

“Well, I’m not.” Alice insisted. “Believe it or not I have bigger things to worry about than a boy.” Margo tilted her chin up. Alice could barely see the corners of Margo’s mouth twitch up to something that almost looked proud.

“Noted,” Margo said standing up without another word and made her way down the hallway. Alice briefly wondered if she would join Quentin and Eliot, but she stopped at the door across the hall from them instead and went inside. Alice looked around the now empty room and decided that if everyone else was finding a place to relax in, might as well follow suit. She found a room farthest away from the others and shut herself in there looking longingly at the bed. Alice couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept. When she had been a niffin, she had not needed something so tedious as sleep, but now laying her head on the pillow and was asleep before she could think anymore.

Alice didn’t know how long she had slept, but when she woke it was dark. The Muntjac seemed to have a warmer glow to it with the daylight gone. Alice found Quentin sitting on the love seat, his legs pulled up, and he was hunched over the questing book intently. Eliot and Margo weren’t there, but she was sure they were still nearby.

“Have you heard anything from Josh yet?” she asked coming over and sitting down across from him. Quentin’s eyes looked up at her, but he more or less stayed in his same position.

“No,” he said. “It’s been almost six hours and still nothing.” She could tell he was worried, and even though he was scrunched up, he seemed calmer. Alice had noticed that about him lately. A new maturity had come over him the past few weeks. Quentin turned his attention back to the book, and a silence came over them.

“How long has that been going on with Eliot?” Quentin didn’t move, but she could see his shoulders tense.

“That’s something I’m not going to tell you about.” He said looking over at her. Alice shut her eyes for a second and took a breath.

“That’s fine,” she said. “I was just going to say that I’m not surprised and it kind of makes sense.” Quentin looked surprised.

“Okay,” He said slowly.

“For what it’s worth.” She said folding her hands in her lap. “It doesn’t bother me that you’re happy.” It was the best she could do, and even though it wasn’t much, Quentin seemed to understand that at least. He nodded, his face softening in a familiar look of friendship.

“Thank you.” He said. Alice nodded and quickly stood, the need to get away from this conversation pushing her toward the stairs before she fully registered that she was going. She looked back over her shoulder at Quentin. He watched her for a moment, then went back to his book.

As Alice walked up the stairs that led to the deck of the Muntjac, she felt a little better. Like wishing Quentin well had eased some of her pain, even just for a few seconds. Stepping out onto the deck, she made sure to steer clear of where Margo and Eliot were talking. Standing at the bow of the ship she closed her eyes and tried to imagine what it would feel like to be that ordinary girl she used to dream of when she went sailing. What it would be like to have never had magic and to be free.


	2. Kady

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place in between 312 and 313, also could be a companion piece to my fic Hurts Like Hell, so read that with this to get a little bit more of the story!

The key had replaced Penny. It replaced _her_ Penny. Kady’s first instinct was to be angry. Angry was all she ever knew. Angry at her mom for not being like all the other moms. Angry at Marina for all the things she had done. Angry at Reynard for obvious reasons. Angry at Julia for not killing Reynard like she had wanted her too. Angry at Penny for loving her. Now, the one she wanted to be angry at was herself, but the only thing she felt was drained and numb. She had never told him that she loved him. She waited too long, and now there was probably no way they could get him back. 

She sat alone at the bottom of that stairs in the cottage. She had no idea where everyone was. The other Penny was the only one she saw. After the awkward exchange through the keys, he seemed to be trying to give her space and had disappeared upstairs over an hour ago. She appreciated that at least, seeing him only reminded her that he wasn’t _her_ Penny.

Suddenly, Quentin came crashing through the door. He looked at her without saying anything, and she saw his eyes were glassy like he had been crying. Kady used to think a metaphorical rain cloud followed Quentin wherever he went. Lately, though, he had seemed different, more focused than she remembered. Now though, he looked like the weight of the quest and everything they could fuck was weighing heavy on his shoulders.

“Hey,” She said standing up. “You ok?” He didn’t say anything, but the look he gave her told her that he wasn’t.

“Where’s the alcohol?” He asked, his voice quiet but harder than she normally heard from him. She pointed toward the bar.

“The same place it’s always been.” She said, and he stormed past her. Following him, she watched as he poured himself a glass of rum and drank it down in one gulp. “Where did you go?” She asked.

“I went to talk to my dad,” he said, his voice strangely emotionless and he poured himself another drink. “He’s dying,” Kady remembered that, vaguely, cancer of some kind.

“I’m sorry,” Kady said a heaviness falling onto her chest. He turned to her now, his hard look softening just for a moment and she saw the Quentin she once knew.

“Thank you.” There was an unspoken acknowledgment between them for a second. The kind that came when you truly understood the pain of watching your loved one die of a sickness that you can do nothing to stop.

“I’m going to go to bed,” Kady said. She knew better than most the times when you needed to be alone and she could tell Quentin might need that now. Quentin gave her a thankful smile, and she made her way up the stairs to her bedroom.

Kady had always had a soft spot for Quentin. He was so nerdy and harmless and sweetly seemed to give a shit about everyone. He cared about her and Penny which surprised her, but she liked that there was someone she could talk to about Penny without her feeling like she needed to act like she didn’t care. Also, everything he saw between him and Julia had taught her something about forgiveness that she was still trying to adapt in her own life. She felt like he was one of the few people in her life that she really wanted happiness for him. Seeing him now made her feel like there wasn’t anything good left for anyone.

She laid on her bed and tried, like all nights, to not think that this was the bed Penny died in, she tried not to think about the last time she saw him. He had said he loved her. He had said over and over and every time she wanted to scream. He had given her so many chances to say it back, but she refused to it every time. Why? Was she really that scared of her own heart? She sometimes wondered if she had said it maybe Penny would have come back from the underworld. Maybe he stayed on purpose because there was nothing left for him. He had already tried to leave once before. Deep down she knew that wasn’t true though; he would have found a way to make sure she knew he was gone for good.

She knew somewhere in her broken heart that Penny knew how she felt. He may not have been able to read minds with magic turned off, but he knew. She wished she had said it though, if not just to see his face when the words came out of her mouth. She tried to imagine what that would have looked like and she cried herself to sleep.

It had felt like she had just fallen asleep when sunlight was shining into her room. Her whole body felt numb, and she wondered for a second if she lay still long enough, the grief she felt would swallow her whole. Finally, her body protesting, she got up and made her way out to the common area.

She was surprised that someone else was already up and even more surprised when she saw who it was. Eliot was sitting on the couch, flipping through a book with Quentin sleeping in his lap.

“Eliot?” Kady whispered. Eliot looked up and smiled at her. She couldn’t remember the last time she had actually seen Eliot. It might have been that bank heist that had gone wrong and thinking of that sent a chill down her spine.

“You don't need to keep your voice that low,” Eliot said closing his book on his finger to keep the spot. “Short of screaming in his ear, nothing is going to wake him.” Kady spotted the glasses and nearly empty rum bottle.

“What are you doing here?” She asked.

“The quest of course,” he said waving his hand in the air. “Plus I needed a little Q time before we set out to find what we’re supposed to do with these keys.” Eliot brought his hand down to Quentin’s hair and gently smoothed it back in a practiced and intimate way. She saw the soft look on his face as he watched the sleeping man in his lap. She saw the way, Quentin, even in his sleep seemed to react to his touch. Moving his head to get even closer, his arm wrapping around Eliot’s body like he was trying to make the two of them one. She looked back at Eliot who was watching her now.

“Are you two?” She asked, not sure how to put it. She knew there was always _something_ between those two but never sure what exactly it was.

Kady was someone who was good at fading into the background. Good at being seen at a party but not seeing what she was doing, or stealing. She was also good at reading people. Seeing who would be the most useful to get close too. Who had the best shit she could swipe. She watched people all around her carefully. She always had kind of thought Eliot and Quentin were sex waiting to happen. She used to try to get Penny to gossip with her about them, but he tried avoiding Quentin at all costs, and that meant in speculation as well.

“In unconventional kind of way, I guess?” Eliot said with a shrug. “We get it, that’s all that matters.” Eliot smiled and he looked back down at Quentin and Kady couldn’t stop the smile that came to her own face.

“Do you love him?” The question was out of her mouth before she could even think about it. Eliot looked surprised that she had asked and she was about to take it back when he smiled.

“I do,” he said simply. “Very much.”

“Does he know?” She didn’t know where this was coming from, but if she had learned anything from losing Penny, it was that you told the people you loved them and Quentin was the kind of person she hoped knew that someone loved him.

“He does,” Eliot said his face calm and patient like he seemed to understand why she was asking. She didn’t know what he knew about Penny, but Eliot always was able to pick up on suffering in others and had an innate ability to understand.

“That’s good,” she said. She watched Quentin for a minute, his hand reached out and found Eliot’s and he wrapped his fingers around Eliot’s wrist. Kady smiled and then got to her feet. “I’ll make some coffee.” She said quickly.

“That would be amazing,” Eliot said. “He will need some when he wakes up.” Kady nodded and quickly made her way into the kitchen. She gave them one last look over her shoulder. Eliot was leaning down to Quentin, trying to wake him she assumed. He kissed Quentin’s head and spoke softly into his ear. She felt some of the weight lift off her chest as she walked into the kitchen. Maybe all hope wasn’t lost. They were about to get magic back and once they did that there had to be a way to find out what happened to Penny. There had to be a way to get him back. If there weren’t then, she would have to have to make one. She wanted to tell Penny she loved him. She wanted to fall asleep in his lap and know that when she woke he would be there to tell her he loved her. She wanted to be a couple, maybe unconventional because what was normal about them? She wanted all of that. If Eliot and Quentin could find each other in the mess that their lives were, then there was hope. That was enough for her to keep going, at least for today.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was okay, Let me know what you think!


	3. Penny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place sometime between episode 12 and 13

Penny had decided that the weirdest part of this new timeline were all the small differences. The ones it took him a while to catch. Like the color of the walls in the cottage. It had been a while since Penny had seen it not falling apart, but the wallpaper had been a different shade of green. The same pattern but it was different enough that Penny was starting to find it distracting.

The people were different too. He hadn’t been all that close to the counterparts of the people he was now surrounded by, but it was different enough to notice. He only really knew Quentin and Alice, and that was just because of Julia. He had never even heard of Kady before. There was a girl, Amanda Orloff, but he was pretty sure they weren’t the same person. Amanda was eaten by the Beast when he crashed their class one day. He had seen Margo around now and then, they had a class together, and she had slipped into some of his more exciting dreams. He never mentioned this to Julia, the two had gotten into some disagreement at a party once, and they never liked each other after that.

He knew Alice better. She and Julia were friends, and he was forced to go on double dates with her and Quentin. She had been nice, smart and driven. She was a physical kid but spent most her time with Julia in the library. He got to know her better after Quentin and Julia had died. She seemed to be the only one who understood the pain he was going through, but after time it got hard to be around her. She became consumed with learning about shades and trying to get Quentin back. He had been interested at first, but none of it looked promising or consequence free. Julia would never have wanted that, he couldn’t destroy her memory for his own selfish pain.

The only thing Penny had known about Josh was that if you wanted weed, he always was selling. They hadn’t actually met until after everything went to shit. It was hard to avoid each other when there were so little of you left. This Josh was different, more hopeful and positive but with the same healthy self-image. His hook-up chart was still up, days later now, and he was still intrigued by some of the hookups. Like him and Alice, he would be lying if the thought had never crossed his mind.

 “Let me guess,” Penny turned his head away and saw Eliot walking up to the board. “Josh did this?” He got closer, letting his finger run along the strings.

 “Yep,” Penny said. “He felt it was imperative that I knew everyone's sexual history.” Eliot chuckled and shook his head.

 “Why am I not surprised?” he asked. “Where did he get these pictures?”

 His Eliot had been almost as much of a mystery to him as Margo had been. They saw each other once in a while. Eliot was that fun guy at a party that you smoked good weed with on occasion. That was about it though; they never talked about anything outside of random shit you say when you’re drunk or high and then forget about the next day. He didn’t see him much after things started to go wrong. When he did, he was so drunk out of his mind that he could barely register someone talking to him. When Penny heard Eliot killed himself in the library, he had hardly been surprised.

 “So what would the hook-up chart from your timeline look like?” Eliot asked him with a smirk. This Eliot was a lot more grounded and settled. He seemed mature, though he could hide that well behind his humor and his general effect, this Eliot was happy.

 “I didn’t give a rats ass about their sex lives,” Penny said with a shrug. “I do know you and Quentin used to sneak off for secret sex.” Eliot’s mouth dropped, and then he got the biggest shit eating grin that Penny had seen from him yet.

 “Shut up,” he said grabbing onto Penny’s arm. “Me and Q had sexy secret sex? That is  _hot_. How did it happen? How many times?” Penny couldn’t help but smile; it was weirdly nice to see him so excited. The last time he had seen his Eliot, he was laying next to a pile of his own vomit, screaming at Margo to leave him alone.

 “They used to break into the boathouse to have sex,” Penny explained. “Couple times a week I think. I don’t know how long it went on, couple months I think.”

 “I thought Q and Alice were together in your timeline?” Eliot asked.

 “They were,” Penny said. “That was the whole part of it being secret. Quentin was bad at keeping secrets though, she found out about it eventually and broke up with him” Eliot let a low whistle and nodded.

 “Yeah, that sounds kind of familiar,” he said. “She was the one who brought him back right? I thought she had been pretty upset when he died.”

“When he died, she kinda lost it; I think she romanticized what they had,” Penny explained. “Anyway, it was your Quentin who set her off when he said he loved her. Made all her dreams come true.” Eliot just shrugged and let his finger trail along the string that connected his and Quentin’s picture.

 “That’s Q,” he said lightly. “Poor boy wears his heart on his sleeve; he can’t help himself.”

 “I can’t help myself with what?” Penny and Eliot both spun around as Quentin walked down the stairs and came over to them. Eliot smiled brightly at him.

 “Q, guess what?” he asked reaching for Quentin’s arm and pulling him closer. “According to Penny, you and I from his timeline used to have secret sex in the boathouse!” Quentin looked over at Penny surprised.

 “They did?” he asked. “In the boathouse?” Penny just shrugged, and Eliot took one of Quentin’s hands into both of his.

 “Can we have sex in the boathouse?” he pleaded. “We have to pay tribute!” Penny looked between the two; Josh had never said if these “hook-ups” had been just one night, or something longer. He guessed in this timeline Quentin, and Eliot pulled their heads out of their asses and decided to be together. He wondered if they had done that in his timeline, maybe some of the horrible things that went down never would have.

“That doesn't seem very sanitary,” Quentin said, looking wearily at Penny like he was still expecting him to react like the other Penny.

 “Oh, you're going to be worried about that now?” Eliot said putting his hands on his hips. “But when you were sick that one time and I said I didn’t want to have sex with you when snot was coming out of your nose you thought I was cruel.” Quentin looked hilariously horrified at Eliot for saying this and crossed his arms.

 “That was different!” he argued. “I was sick and wanted comfort, and you already had been around all those germs, so you were going to get sick anyway, and you did!” 

“You are a weird man Quentin Coldwater,” Eliot said crossing his own arms. Quentin rolled his eyes and walked away. “Sex in the boathouse would be fun!” Eliot called out rushing after him. “We could do it under a canoe!” Penny watched them go and found himself smiling as they disappeared into the kitchen. He took a seat back on the couch as Julia walked in the front door.

 “Oh,” she seemed surprised to see him and nervously tucked some hair behind her ear. “Hey,” He smiled, and she smiled back. It was a different smile, but one he could get used too.

 

 ****************************************

 

Penny was in hell, true and real hell. He knew he hadn’t been the greatest person when he was alive, but thought his few acts of selflessness had earned him more than a few brownie points. He could deal with the hell that was working for the library. Shelving books and going to lame book club, but as he turned the next page of the book of Quentin Coldwater, he knew this was pure torture.

 “Oh come on,” he muttered to himself. “It took you fucks a whole year to bang?” He had always known Quentin and Eliot had wanted each other. Quentin especially was always leaking every thought he had. Eliot had always been a little harder to read. He was better at maintaining his wards, but a few things slipped past, and it usually revolved around dirty thoughts of a certain nerd. Now thanks to book club he had to read all the dirty details of their sex life.

 “God you two are pussies.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went back and forth on which Penny or if I should just do both. I hope everyone liked what I ended up with! Let me know what you think!


	4. Julia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after the episode "All That Josh"

When Julia was in the second grade, her teacher brought in a caterpillar for the class to watch transform into a butterfly. Her desk sat next to the jar housing the cocoon hanging from a twig, so Julia was able to watch for any signs of life. For weeks she waited to see what was going to emerge, envious in a way she didn’t understand at the time. It would only be as an adult looking back that she would appreciate the symbolism of witnessing such an event. It was about change, rebirth, and freedom. Things her adult self would continuously try to find.

Finally, the day came when the cocoon began to shake and move, and the class crowded around to watch. Since Julia sat so close to the jar, she was front and center for the whole thing. Her eyes went wide when the butterfly’s wings pushed the cocoon open and a beautiful monarch butterfly emerged and spread out for the first time. The light caught the wings as they fluttered a few times, the butterfly testing out its new body and for a moment Julia was mesmerized.

They took the jar outside, sat it down on the ground and waited for the butterfly to fly away. But it stayed on it’s twig refusing to move. After a while the teacher told them to go to recess, the butterfly might be too nervous with everyone around. Julia was disappointed. She had waited all this time and would not get to see it fly away. Not wanting to miss it, Julia waited a few minutes before sneaking back to the jar to see if it had flown away.

Walking up the sidewalk, she noticed that a boy, Thomas Mitchell, was crouched over the jar. Thomas as that kid who disrupted class and tried to pull up the girl's skirts on the playground. Balling her hands into fists, Julia hurried over to make sure he was only looking. He wasn’t of course. Thomas had pulled the butterfly out of the jar and was pushing it against the hot sidewalk and pulling off its wings. He tugged too hard and it tore off halfway, leaving jagged wings the hung like a tattered flag.

“ _Stop!_ ” Julia cried, but Thomas only laughed and pulled the remainder of the wing off.

Julia watched the butterfly’s legs as they flailed, it was still alive and in pain and Julia felt helpless. Behind her, a few other girls must have had the same idea as her, because they walked up and screamed when they saw what Thomas was doing. One ran to get the teacher while the other yelled at Thomas and pushed him away. The sounds of their fighting and the teacher’s eventual arrival went unheard by Julia. She knelt down on the ground and watched as the broken butterfly, who had locked itself into a dark and lonely cocoon only to emerge and be torn apart before it could even fly. The legs stopped moving and Julia burst into tears.

Curled up now by the bay window in the cottage, a chill went through Julia. That horrible moment, when the blood started dripping down Skye's face, Julia had been transported back to that day. Helplessness filled her and for the horrific few moments, she had suddenly become Thomas Mitchell, pulling the wings off a defenseless butterfly. The magic inside her came to her rescue this time though, time stopped and somehow she was able to save Skye. That little spark that was growing brighter inside her; her own little cocoon that was transforming her into something else.

“Where’s the key?” Josh had come into the common room and was standing over the table where they kept the keys. A few hours had passed since their latest adventure and Josh was jumping right back into action, more determination on his face than Julia felt in herself at this moment.

“What?” Julia asked shaking herself from her thoughts and letting her feet drop to the floor. “Which key?”

“The latest one, the one that linked us all up,” Josh said gesturing to the tabletop. “Last I checked it was here; now it’s gone.” Walking over, Julia scanned the tabletop and saw he was right. There were only three keys on the table. The fourth, the one they’d started calling the depression key, was locked in a small box so no one would touch it, but the fifth key was missing.

“I saw Q put down here earlier,” Julia said looking around. “Someone may have borrowed it.” She had done the same earlier that day, but the truth key had proved to be useful. The newest key only worked the one time. They had all tried to use it again, but nothing had happened.

“You know, Alice has been acting really suspicious,” Josh said. “Q totally isn’t trusting her, man I missed out on a lot didn’t I? Someone is really gonna need to fill me in.” He pushed his glasses up his nose and Julia had to smile at his sweet face.

“I don’t know why Alice would want it,” Julia said shrugging her shoulders. “If anything, she’d take the truth key. Kady, on the other hand, that key connected us to Penny.” She thought about Kady’s face when she realized the key had disconnected them from Penny had broken something inside Julia’s heart. She knew there was still distance between them that might never be repaired, but at that moment she had would have reached across oceans to comfort Kady if it would have helped.

“That’s a good point,” Josh said with a curt nod. “How about you go talk to Kady, I’ll find Alice. We’re really starting to get a good rapport going.” He winked at Julia before running off to Alice’s room, Julia just shook her head and climbed the stairs.

Standing in front of Kady’s closed door, Julia hesitated a moment before knocking. When she didn’t get a response, she opened the door open a crack and saw Kady lying on her back on her bed, a bottle of one of Eliot’s fancy wines tucked at her side.

“Kady?” She said opening the door wider.

“Fuck,” Kady muttered as she sat up, the bottle of wine coming with her. “I was ignoring you on purpose.” She brought the bottle to her lips, and her eyes narrowed.

“Sorry,” Julia said hovering by the door. “I just needed to ask if you had the key.” The wine bottle dropped from Kady’s mouth and down onto her lap.

“I don’t have it,” she said. “Not like it works anyway.” Kady stood and walked over to the window, the wine bottle dangling in her hands.

“It worked once,” Julia said.

“Yeah,” Kady said, her back to Julia. “Once.” Julia hated that there wasn’t anything she could do to help get Penny back. She wanted nothing more than to help Kady’s pain, but it seemed there was nothing she could do with her limited powers and it brought the feeling of hopelessness back into her gut.

“At least we know he’s okay,” Julia pointed out.

“It’s not enough.” Now Kady turned her head and Julia could see the tears in her eyes.

“I know,” Julia said softly and Kady looked away. What can I do was on the top of her tongue, but she knew how futile that question was: the kindest thing Julia could do at this moment was not asking that at all.

“If you need anything,” Julia finally settled on. “Come and find me.” Kady didn’t look at her, but Julia saw her nod. Shutting the door quietly behind her, Julia was met with Fen walking out of the bathroom. A glass of something amber sloshed over her hand and onto the wood floor, but Fen didn’t seem to care. Julia made a mental note to talk to Todd about watering down her drinks; she didn’t have the same tolerance to earth’s alcohol as the rest of them did.

“Hey, Fen,” Julia said offering her a smile. “You haven’t seen the keys have you?” Fen stopped in front of her and seemed to notice where her drink spilled on her hand. She switched her glass to the other hand and wiped the wet one against the sweatpants Julia had found for her.

“Of course I saw them,” Fen said, her words slurring just slightly. Julia studied the expression on her face, a defeated kind of look that Julia could feel in her bones and sadness in eyes that were too beautiful even to know such negative emotion. “Why?” She brought her glass to her lips and finished her drink.

“You didn’t take one of them did you?” A brief moment of worry bared down on her chest as she thought of Fen getting a hold of the depression key quickly lifted when Fen shook her head. “Okay, why don’t you get some sleep.” Fen didn’t say a word as Julia took her by the arm and led her to a room. Julia couldn’t imagine what could be going on in Fen’s mind after today. Hating the faires for what they had done to her seemed to be the fire that was keeping Fen standing. But seeing them as prisoners being abused appeared to put a strain on that strength. The confusion that was battling inside her was almost palpable and Julia could only add it to the growing list of things she couldn’t help.

“Quentin had a key,” Fen said as she sat down on the bed. Julia frowned.

“He did?” It didn’t really surprise her, and she felt a little silly for not checking with him in the first place.

“Yeah,” Fen said laying back against the pillows and pulled her legs up to curl around her. “When I was walking up here, I saw him take one and then he went out back with it.” She laid her cheek against a pillow, her wide eyes almost shining in the dark. “I think he wanted to talk to Eliot.”

“Eliot?” Julia asked stepping forward. Not that it was surprising that Quentin would be trying to contact he or Margo, there was something in Fen’s eyes that seemed to suggest this was something different. Fen didn’t say anything else though. Closing her eyes, she seemed to fall asleep almost instantly.

She found Quentin sitting on one of the lawn chairs out in the backyard of the cottage. He sat hunched over, his hair shielding his face from view, and the missing key was in his hand. She shut the door as quietly as she could, she didn’t want to startle him. She could practically see the anxiety rolling off him from where she stood.

“Eliot?” he said, his voice wavering. “Please El; I need to know that you’re okay, please answer me.” As she got closer to him, she could see he was shaking a bit and the worry inside her grew.

“Quentin?” He dropped the key in surprise and turned toward her, his face pale in the moonlight.

“Fuck,” he breathed. “You scared the shit out me.” She smiled apologetically as she took a seat next to him.

“Sorry,” she said. “We were looking for that.” She pointed to the key on the ground and Quentin swiftly picked it back up. He passed the key back and forth between his hands a few times before clutching it in his fist. He pushed the hair back from his face and Julia could see his embarrassed and stressed expression. Reaching over to take it from him, Julia wrapped her fingers around his clenched fist and squeezed it. He let out a sigh and the key dropped into her hand.

“Uh, yeah, I just wanted to try again.” He said not able to meet her eyes.

“Any luck?” Julia asked.

“No,” Quentin dragged a hand over his eyes and rubbed them hard. “Nothing, how the hell is this key supposed to work? It would have been really nice if the other key decided just _not_ to work sometimes. These rules seem so fucking random,” His hand dropped down his lap with a sigh and his face dropped sending his hair back to hide him.

“What’s wrong?” She asked as she reached over to tuck the fallen hair behind his ear. Her hand cupped his cheek for a moment and he leaned into her brief touch.

“I sent a bunny to Eliot and Margo,” he said. “It’s been over an hour and they haven’t sent one back.” His eyes found her again in the dim light and she saw the fear that was there.

“Right,” She said sighing, “The infinite waterfalls.” During their brief link up earlier, she had been so focused on saving Skye, that she almost forgot about Eliot and Margo’s situation. From everything they could tell, they had been overthrown and literally shoved off of Fillory.

“I was hoping that with us all connected,” Quentin said, his hand running nervously through his hair now. “It would save them somehow, but I’m starting to think they’re dead.” He bit his lip and Julia could see his eyes shining brighter now with tears.

“Q, I’m sure they’re not dead.” She said quickly taking his hand into both of her. Quentin snorted, a sad smile breaking out on his face.

“You’re sure?” he scoffed. “Like, your goddess powers are sure they’re not dead or you’re just trying to me feel better kind of sure?” His tone had a bit of a bite to it, the kind he got when he was scared. She could practically see the walls building up inside him to protect him from his worst fears. The thoughts were churning so fast in his head and Julia could recognize when her best friend was on the verge of losing his control.

It surprised her; he’d become so calm recently. Something happened to Quentin when he and Eliot got the time key. Something about a timeline they lived, but by all accounts, Margo stopped it from happening with the help of Jane Chatwin. Quentin didn’t say anything more about it when he had explained, but he was different now. Quentin seemed more comfortable in his skin than she had ever known him to be. He seemed focused and mature and didn’t seem to be letting his runaway brain overpower his actions anymore. At least until this moment.

“What should we do?” she asked him.

“I need to go to Fillory,” he said standing up. “I’ll find them myself.”

“Wait,” Julia said, quickly grabbing his arm and pulled him back down. “If they were just sentenced to death by their own people, I don’t think anyone is going to be very happy to see you. You are still a King there, right?” She wasn’t sure what Quentin and Alice’s status were in Fillory, but she was sure that if the Fillorians didn’t want Eliot and Margo in power anymore, the King and Queen who have been absent for most of their rein, wouldn’t be their next choice.

“I need to do something,” Quentin said, frustration dripping in his voice before it dropped to a softer tone. “I need to know if they’re safe, I need to know if he’s alive. I can’t lose him again.” He trailed off by the end of that, his eyes traveling to the empty space in front of them. Julia didn’t even think he was talking to her by then. She thought about what Fen had said.

“Him?” she asked quietly. “Eliot?” He finally looked at her, his expression pained but otherwise unreadable, and he nodded. “When did you lose Eliot?” She knew about the history between Quentin and Eliot. She knew about the drunken threesome and how much Quentin cared about Eliot, but the look on his face now seemed to be for much more than worry over a friend.

“That’s kind of a long story,” Quentin said nervously. “But, uh, remember the timeline that Margo stopped?”

“Yeah,” Julia said slowly, she felt a strange tightness in her chest as if she knew what he was going to say was big, life-changing big.

“Well-” he paused, biting his lip in thought. “We remember it.” He looked over at her now, waiting for some reaction from her.

“You remember it?” She said slowly, not completely understanding what he meant.

“Yeah,” he said nodding. “We lived a whole life, Jules, together.” The way he said together made something click in Julia’s mind and her eyes widened just a bit.

“Oh.” She said sitting up a little straighter. “Like together, _together_?” He nodded and Julia felt a warm feeling fill her entire body. “Were you happy together?” Even in the darkness, Julia could see all the stress and despair leave Quentin’s face just for a moment, and he smiled a real and beautiful smile. It was like just thinking about the answer to that question washed all his fears away and peace had settled on him again.

When he opened his mouth to answer, a bunny appeared out of nowhere. Dropping down in front of them, the rabbit was quiet at first, only twitching its nose in their direction.

“We’re safe,” Came a gruff voice. “Love, Eliot.” Julia watched as Quentin slumped forward with the relief that was washing over him in waves. He turned to Julia and let out a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob,

“He’s okay,” he said breathlessly and Julia smiled. She was glad to know that they were safe, she liked them both, especially Eliot, and would never want anything to happen to them. But if she was honest, she was more glad for Quentin. Something told her that he would not be okay if something had happened to them, to _Eliot_.

“I told you.” She said. Then another bunny appeared and dropped down next to the other.

“Tick is a fuckwad.” Was all this bunny said and Quentin laughed.

“Margo’s okay too,” he said. Julia giggled and watched Quentin as the despair previously on his face clear away and he breathed out a sigh.

“Fuck,” he said shaking his head. Julia wondered if knowing that Eliot was safe was the end of the conversation they were having. She still wanted an answer to her question.

“Q?” he looked at her, his face more relaxed and she was struck with the happiness she saw reflected in his eyes. It hit her then, like a warm wave of water spilling all around her. He was in love. Real and true love that was beyond anything she had ever felt. Looking at his face now, even in the dim light, was like watching the butterfly spread its wings all those years ago. It was something she had never seen before, delicate and pure in ways she didn’t understand. Something she instantly wanted to protect.

“You love him.” She didn’t ask the question; she knew the answer.

“I do,” he said without a hint of hesitation or fear, just pure fact. “We had a whole life Jules, and it was-” he stopped, a more conflicted look clouded his eyes now like he didn’t know how to explain. “There’s some of it I’m not ready-I want to tell you but-” Julia stood up quickly and sat in the same chair he sat. It was too small for both of them, but Quentin didn’t seem to mind.

“You don’t have to tell me anything you aren’t ready to,” Julia told him quickly. “I’ll be here to listen to whatever you want to share.” He nodded gratefully and looked over at the bunnies who were hopping over to the grass.

“You remember the story of the mosaic?” Quentin said. Julia nodded, Jane needed to complete the mosaic but someone had already finished it. Julia had always been frustrated by that part. She felt it was almost cheating that Jane didn’t even have to do anything and she always wanted to read about Jane figuring it out.

“That was us,” he smiled. “We solved the mosaic.” Wrapping her arm around Quentin, she listened as he told her bits of the life he and Eliot spent together and how they fell in love. How there had been a girl who became his wife and he spoke around hints of a family that she knew he wasn’t ready to reveal the details of yet. They stayed there, wrapped in their own cocoon that could transform them into new people, ready to welcome the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking out with this story, I just have one more to go! Let me know what you think!


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